Jun 4
It’s not Imposter Syndrome, It's New Phase
Do you feel doubt about yourself? Do you feel you are a fraud when you start new things in your life? Most of us will feel this way when we start in a new environment.
I knew It was annoying, isn’t it? It feels frustrating sometimes. Suppose we see it from a psychological perspective. In that case, imposter syndrome (IS) refers to an internal experience of believing that you are not as competent as others perceive you to be. And sometimes we are felt in the trap of this situation.
In my humble opinion, it’s a very common feeling as a human being. However, we need to be aware and fix it, to be able to move forward.
Here I wanna share with you, How I deal with my imposter syndrome.
Background
I can describe myself as an achiever woman. I just feel born with this personality. I have always intended to achieve something and growth in my entire life. I feel life is competition. Not merely with my competitor, but more with myself. I still remember, how I locked myself in my bedroom and cried a lot when I lose the competition. This feeling often comes up till I become a grown woman. The difference is just my reaction towards a failure slightly more mature, lol.
Because of this desire, sometimes it tortures me. I feel this syndrome hurt me a lot twice in my life. It happened when I graduated from High school and university.
Now, I wanna talk to you about my syndrome when I graduated from university.
Problem
We should be above the sky and fortunate when we achieve our dreams. Dream that we have always wanted for ages. I graduated with excellent credits, nominated as the best graduate. I landed to overseas job 5 months before I can finish my study. I make above average compared with my peers in my home country. We call it “dreams come true”.
However,
I feel that I’m a fraud. I’m nothing when I live in the new society. When all of them graduated from the best university in the world. When international exposure is just a piece of cake for them. And I just started! Like? What I can brag to them? lol. And the most fun fact is that the salary that I received back then was just nothing to live in this society. I completely enter a different world than I used to. It makes me small, and start doubt to myself. “I’m nothing! Am I deserve this?”
How to deal with this situation?
In the depth of my heart and my mind, I can’t stop thinking about this. The inferiority just fulfilled entire my brain. And it affects the way I act. But, the thing is:
Self-esteem
You are who you are! You are authentic with the background that you have and the story that you made. It distinguishes you from your society. You’ve experienced many things in your life, and it is unique!
You are the best supporter in your life. This is one of the values that I always hold on to. I kept motivating myself. If I deserve this. I’ve been walking so far away to reach this point. And this is the time I pick the fruitful moment after a whole battle that I did.
Make narration to encourage yourself. To ignite your belief and your confidence.
The magic words from your support system
Get the words with your support system. Another encouragement that I got is from my lovely family. How proud they are with me today. On the morning of my birthday last year, I had a call with my family. Suddenly, they call me when I was walking from the subway to my office. My uncle is like my dad, he cried seeing me working in a high building overseas. And he said “you are the most determined girl that I have ever known! You know what you want, and you will make it happen. I had no words to describe how proud I’m right now.
Your self-talk and emotional support from your loves are the magic words to you keep motivated. You can’t stop believing yourself.
We always start over
Do you remember your feeling when you start your first day at school?
Everything feels so strange, new faces, new settings, new rules, and everything.
This is a common feeling when we deal with a new phase in our life. Our copying mechanism working on it. It’s a process to adapt to the new environment, understanding, internalizing, adapting, and then feeling more comfortable. We always start over when we step up in our phase of life.
Being an empty glasses
You might think you’ve achieved a lot of things in the past. You might be a champion in your surrounding. Keep it alive as your motivation. So put your mind “nothing can beat you!”. But the things that you have to understand, when you start a new adventure, you need to stay humble and be an empty glass. Absorb all new knowledge and perspective that you just received. Take it as a process to learn. This is a process to enrich your paradigm and be a new version of yourself.
Moving forward
Stop looking at the past. We need to keep our eyes staring at the road in front of us. You never be the same as you were yesterday. A new day is a new opportunity for you to unleash your potential. And consider it as the way to move forward.
Conclusion
Well, until I can write all of these words, I need 16 months to find where I am, feel comfortable with my new life, and find out what’s next in my life. So take your time! The things that you need to know, you have to be aware of and identified what’s wrong. Then keep seeking the answer to be able to bring you to deal with your situation.
You know yourself better than anyone else, and you deserve what you have today!
